WHERE DO THE AMISH BUY SWIMSUITS?

A couple of months ago, I joined 24-Hour Fitness which offers a water aerobics class on Saturday mornings. I peeked in on the class one Saturday morning and found it to be full of women my age and older. At first, I thought “Perfect!” but quickly realized I haven’t had on a swimsuit since 1993, which was also the last time my legs were exposed to sunlight. Ugh! I was dreading having to try on swimsuits. The last time swimsuit shopping was fun, I was 21. Gathering the will and determination to go swimsuit shopping was a monumental endeavor. A Sports Authority store recently opened in our neighborhood. After considering it for several weeks, I decided that would be the perfect store to purchase my swimsuit. I knew they would certainly cater to people who need to work out. I felt good as I entered the store and found several racks of swimsuits—most of them one pieces. I picked three from the rack and bounced into the dressing room. I managed to get one of the swimsuits past my hips, but couldn’t get it up over my shoulders. WHAT?!!! I checked the tag again. It was definitely a size 12. I went back to the rack and could not find a one-piece in a size 14. Frustrated, I started leaving the store. As I was walking out, I saw a sales clerk who was a big woman in her mid to late 20’s, weighing close to 200 lbs. I thought she would be able to help me because she would know where the large swimsuits are hidden. I voiced my frustration to her. She walked me over to another section of the store with even more swimsuits. She pointed out which brands I needed to choose from – the ones that were NOT cut high on the thigh (some all the way to the waist). I was beginning to feel hope again. As we searched through the racks, I realized Sports Authority does not cater to people who need to work out at all. The sales lady gave me the largest swimsuit in the store to try on. I could not believe it! I went back into the dressing room which was not my friend that day. I tried on the one swimsuit in the store I thought would fit. It went over the hips and up my shoulders just fine, but I was unable to stand in a full upright position. As I stood crouched over looking in the mirror, I felt like crying as I mourned the death of my girlish figure. I looked ridiculous. The suit mashed my boobs flat, and instead of clinging to my body as a swimsuit should, air was between my boobs and belly. It was not fit for public display. After exiting the dressing room, I seriously needed counseling.